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OLD RECTORIAN CULTURE
THE OLD RECTORIAN IDEAL
 ld Rectoryland is far more than just a nation; it is a thriving community, and a community needs ideals to aspire to and uphold. Whereas in the rest of the world things have slipped somewhat, the rural sensibilities of Old Rectorians mean that common courtesy is still common, and this is the way we would like to stay. As in our Colonial Policy, Old Rectoryland wants to take the best parts of British culture of the past two centuries and apply that ideal to the modern day. To this end, the Commission for Lindisfaran Identity (a voluntary organisation, not a QuaNGO) has compiled advice as to how an Old Rectorian citizen should aspire to act, which is included here. The advice suggests that Old Rectorians should
- maintain a sporting attitude, and a willingness to sacrifice one's own comfort in order to protect that of others.
- be as polite and civil as possible at all times, remembering P's and Q's.
- Strive to be respected. In other words, don't swear in front of kids or people outside your closest circle of friends.
- Fit the formality of your speech to the situation: all public contact is occasion for formality.
- Shake hands in greeting.
- Say 'excuse me, please' when you need to get by somebody or through the middle of a conversation.
- Say 'excuse me' if you break wind obviously in public, and 'pardon me' if you burp.
- Always aim to do these things in private if they're loud or smelly.
- Do not start a meal until everyone is served, or until your host does. Use a knife and fork for pizza if you're at a restaurant.
- more ettiquette
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- respect members of the opposite sex, or other nationalities or ethnicities or religions, as full equals in all circumstances.
- keep a 'stiff upper lip' and avoid panic. Maintain your high standards even in the most adverse of circumstances. Dress for dinner in the jungle. Keep calm and carry on.
- practise self-discipline.
- not wear hats indoors.
- be tolerant and considerate of others.
- apologise for everything, even when it isn't your fault
- smile as much as possible. Making brief eye contact with people whilst smiling makes you and others feel good about themselves.
- cultivate a dry sense of humour and good sense of irony.
- be curious and seek out new information, experiences, and, if possible, lands.
- be rational, yet in posession of a full set of human emotions!
- always carry a handkerchief
- strive for elegance or style. Dress as formally as the situation allows.
- have a sense of honour, but know when to ignore it in favour of practicality.
- be ambitious
- be honest
- not be condescending snobs
- not eat in the streets before ten o'clock PM.
- work hard to earn your keep
- cover your mouth when yawning or coughing. Keep your mouth closed while chewing.
- not feed the tramps
- talk QUIETLY in public places
- be reserved
- do not spit anywhere but a handkerchief or a sink. ESPECIALLY not when you're spitting gum or tobacco.
- be punctual, arriving
- At the exact time specified – for dinner, lunch, or appointments with professors, doctors, and other professionals.
- Any time during the hours specified for teas, receptions, and cocktail parties.
- At least a few minutes early: for public meetings, plays, concerts, films, sporting events, classes, church services, and weddings.
- Never accept an invitation unless you really plan to attend. A thank-you note or telephone call after the visit is also considered polite and is an appropriate means to express your appreciation for the invitation.
- be enthusiastic about democracy
- stay optimistic
- remember that all people are equal; but treat each individual as if they were the most important. If you are the first to reach a door, hold it open for the people immediately behind you or on the other side before passing through yourself.
- do unto others as you would wish them to do unto you.
- don't mess with the local gods.
Remember: even if you find these things difficult, you are representing Old Rectoryland and should strive to do better!
Furthermore, the Commission identified the following things as representing the ideal Old Rectorian culture:
- Red post box
- Distinctive telephone kiosk
- Tea
- Coffee
- Cricket
- Fish and Chips
- Sarcasm
- Pubs
- the weather
- Always wearing hats
- Morris Dancing
- Bicycle mounted bobby
- Village green
- Village fete
- Real ale, cool but not frozen
- Leafy green streets
- Patchwork quilt fields
- National Health
- football
- maypole dancing
TRADITIONAL GREETING
It is usual for Old Rectorians to greet with the traditional phrase "Na'then," (Now then). You may be called Sir, Ma'am, duck, son, miss, or mate according to your sex, age and situation.
NATIONAL DRESS
If you can pull it off, the national dress of Old Rectoryland is
FOR MEN
- A high-cut three piece suit. This should be worn with braces. The waistcoat may be replaced by a cardigan or other jumper, and supplemented with a pocket watch. A tie or neckerchief may be worn.
- Fedora, trilby, or flat cap
- smart shoes.
FOR CHILDREN
- School uniform to be worn at all times: knee-length shorts and knee-socks or a knee-length skirt, with a tie, blazer, shirt and optional jumper; compulsory school-cap for boys.
FOR WOMEN
- Shirt and a long skirt or trousers. A jumper or cardigan may be worn. Alternatively knee-length dress.
 
LANGUAGE
 he official languages of Old Rectoryland were originally English and the constructed language Arjepardrebaplalang. As it was recognised that the constructed language was impractical, and to strengthen national identity, this latter was exchanged for Anglisc (pronounced 'Anglish'), a dialect of Old English, in 2008, despite the majority of Old Rectorians having English as a first language and the decline in the numbers of Anglisc speakers. There are several excellent Anglisc resources pages online, including searchable dictionaries, and introductions to the language. The Anglisc Wikipedia can be found here.
The Government hopes to have translated all Old Rectorian documents and websites into Anglisc by August 2010.
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