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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS or
THE FOUR STAGES OF GRIEF
1. DENIAL
- This can't be serious.
Deadly serious. There is no meaningful difference between Old Rectoryland and any other nation.
- But Old Rectoryland isn't--can't be--an independent nation. This sounds like a game, to me!
If it makes you feel better, Old Rectoryland is indeed something of a hobby. However it is also a real place, and a real country. Unlike a few dubious things called Model Countries, Old Rectoryland as much aspires to, and achieves, the qualifications for being an independent, sovereign state under international law as the UK or any other 'conventional' country. There is no one international written agreement on what makes a state, but the 1933 Montevideo Convention on the Rights and Duties of States and the later EU Batinda Arbitration Committee stated that the requirements for statehood are a government, a permanent population, a defined territory, and the ability to communicate with other governments--and explicitly stated that "the political existence of the state is independent of recognition by the other states". There remains near-unanimous agreement that these treaties accurately codified existing legal norms and the practical requirements. On top of this, there is definite historical basis for Lindsey's separate existence. As you will see, therefore, Old Rectoryland's independence as a state is not in doubt under international law. Indeed if anything is questionable, it's the legitimacy of the idea of statehood in general, and its imposition at any level on an ambivalent populace (which is kind of the point).
If you're interested in the legitimacy of government, I suggest you research the Social Contract (which supposes that governments reduce people's freedom/rights in exchange for protecting them, and maintaining order), and in particular criticisms of it such as Spooner's No Treason, which question whether this exchange is, in fact, voluntary: since a contract must be voluntarily entered into by both parties, the supposed social contract cannot be used to justify governmental actions such as taxation, because government will initiate force against anyone who does not wish to enter into such a contract. As a result, Spooner maintains that such an agreement is not voluntary and therefore cannot be considered a legitimate contract at all. And of course, as we were recently told (in relation to another subject entirely) by a good friend who is also a lawyer, a contract made by ancestors cannot be held to be legally binding on their descendents without their consent. Roderick Long also has something to say about all this, though I don't necessarily agree with all he says. Thomas Paine's Common Sense may also be considered relevant.
2. ANGER
- This is just stupid! You're nearly 19; surely you're too old to be, dare I say, obsessed with this stuff?
"Too old"? By whose standards?
Let me explain. As well as being a legitimate independent state - which it would be even if I and its inhabitants did not 'take it seriously' - Old Rectoryland is an interesting hobby. But more than being just another escapist pastime in the train set/ toy soldiers/ turning your lonely bed-sit into an exact copy of the starship enterprise school (all of which are considerably more isolationist and sociopathic than governing a country), Old Rectoryland has genuine intellectual and aesthetic depths even for those who don't take it 'seriously':
- Its questioning of the legitimacy of statehood is both borderline-dangerous and philosophically important from an existentialist point of view.
- Its political stances and activities are a useful tool in understanding and commenting on global politics, as well as forming, testing, and organising its politicians' positions so that they can be carried forward into other areas.
- It is both an opportunity for exciting graphic design projects and a conceptual art-work in itself.
- It's an opportunity to improve my web-design skills.
- It entails interesting research into history, politics, and international law.
- And as it costs practically nothing to run, governing our state is far superior to the wasteful and expensive hobbies mentioned before.
It may, on the other hand, be just as geeky, but what do I care about that? If you can't deal with a little geekiness, that's your problem, not mine, and you certainly don't belong on my website.
As for the whole thing being childish, I don't believe it is. Most train sets, war games and dolls' houses are owned and operated by men over the age of twenty. The Sims is played by gamers of all ages. People still like fantasy, escapism, gentle humour, and the act of creation. It is a universal truth, whether or not some people wish to hide it because of some misplaced idea of dour seriousness and a lack of imagination as 'normal adult behaviour'.
At the end of the day, what's wrong with it? If you're worrying about whether it's normal or not, whether it's weird to take this thing even a little bit seriously, you are worrying to much. And what's worse, you're missing out on the benefits. The bit where you're judging me by arbitrary and stiflingly serious values I can forget about--unless you say something ill-judged and hurtful about it. Ask yourself where your derision is coming from, and remind yourself that your standards are relative, not absolute. I think being passionate about professional football is pretty daft, but I don't go around belittling football supporters - and not just because there's a lot of them, or because some of them are tanked up on lager, weigh as much as a small elephant, and carry flick-knives.
I wish the intellectual and aesthetic reasoning behind Old Rectoryland was more immediately obvious; at least enough that people who don't ask for an explanation don't just immediately assume I'm "weird". But it's not, and I'm not giving up my hobby based on other people's ridiculous hang-ups.
In summary, you should probably just think of it as a big social, political experiment/simulation; a way of shaping and organising my political views and ideologies; a long art project ; or something to practise my web-design on. It's not accurate, but if it'll make you feel better... *pats you condescendingly on the head*.
3. BARGAINING
- Will you recognise my nation if I recognise yours?
That all depends. The Old Rectorian foreign office examines every offer of a co-recognition treaty to ensure that your state meets the actual conditions for statehood (government, REAL territory, population and communications) before accepting it. Try emailing the king or the foreign office.
- Can I advertise on your site?
Yes. But only in return for vast sums of money.
4. ACCEPTANCE
- This is brilliant! Can I become a Governor or something?
Indeed you can, provided you can demonstrate a minimum degree of seriousness about the thing, and are prepared to remain in touch with the rest of the Empire. Simply email the King, with a completed census form (or a list of the number of computers and firearms on your property, the number and ages of human and domesticated animal inhabitants, and the approximate area of your property in acres or square miles), the coordinates and boundaries of the land you are offering our nation, your preferred honorary title, and, if possible, a photograph for the Governors' page. If you wish, you may also contact your current government to inform them that you are changing service providers, and Old Rectoryland will vouch for you.
- The King is an atheist: is Old Rectoryland an atheist nation?
Absolutely not. Although the King is a 'militant' atheist, he nevertheless holds the title of "Protector of the faiths" in recognition of the right of every citizen to hold whatever beliefs they wish, and act upon them except where this violates the Bill of Personal Rights. Old Rectoryland is a secular nation, which means there is no established religion and separation of churches and state is declared essential. Its citizenry includes Christians, Muslims, Neo-pagans, atheists, and Pastafarian Sparrowists, amongst other faiths. No-one is barred from holding office on religious grounds. The cult of Scientology is outlawed in Old Rectoryland (though the colonies may legislate separately on this matter).
- If I become a governor, will I actually have to give you ownership of our house?
Does the Pope poo in the woods? Don't be silly! This isn't a con trick. You retain ownership of your land; you just give the government of Old Rectoryland permission to make your laws, provide your services (if you choose to pay us taxes) etc. I suppose, like HM Queen Elizabeth, we technically have the right to commandeer your land for the good of the state--but we're even less likely to do it than the UK because of our distinct lack of road-widening schemes in the forseeable future. Becoming and Old Rectorian costs you nothing but the agreement to abide by our laws (and pay us taxes if you want services in return).
- I want to get involved in the campaign for an independent Kingdom of Lindsey. What should I do next?
First visit the facebook cause page and await further instructions. When there are enough supporters, we will seek further publicity and financial backing. We may even form a loose political party and campaign to win a seat in parliament or local government.
- This is all well and good, but aren't there five stages of grief?
Yup. I had to miss out depression until someone asks me something depressing. It was bad enough having to find questions for "bargaining"! It seemed funny at the time, honestly...
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copyright © 2009 Lindisfaras Eardstapenascoppa |
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